I was going to initially write this as a Facebook post but once I got past 100 characters I figured that no one would read that much. So I decided that this topic needed a little more attention than just a facebook status.
You might have seen friends post about the new Netflix series 13 Reason Why, and wondered what it was all about. he is a quick summary. A young girl kills herself and leaves 13 tapes behind for 13 people to listen to one at a time and then past these tapes on. The plot twist? Each reason involves the person who received the tapes. I thought to myself; couldn’t you all just put this on Lifetime and I’ll watch it on Sunday or something. After I got into the 4th episode things began to get deeper. This new series deal with topics of misogyny, rape, bullying, social interactions and friendships. There are many other topics you can pull out of this series, of course, and I am sure someone will write reviews about race playing a part in it and feminism. You all know how the internet works. We all interpret things differently.
Note: Believe it or not this series was pretty diverse and it sort of made me proud. There was an even spread of black people, Asian Americans and mixed actors in this.
from 1998 to 2002 I was in high school and the worst day I had was when a girl said I was ugly and looked like a bull. I still never forgot that til this day. Those were just words. Today in 2017 words turn into mobile phone pictures and viral videos. They can be posted any and everywhere never leave the interwebs like a birthmark.
At first, I found myself judging this girl and wondering why she didn’t do more. Why she didn’t speak up. Why was she waiting for someone to read her mind? Then I thought. At the end of the day, if she doesn’t know it is because that isn’t what she was taught. No, I don’t blame the parents but children need to know there are outlets. They can mistakenly think that friends are that outlet. Sometimes they are but in Hannahs case, every single person that was her friend at first consistently looked out for themselves instead of helping her. Here I do blame the parents. This is the part where you teach your child to be a friend.
No, I am not a parent. The only example I can go off is my own parents. When I came home crying about that girl calling me ugly. I believed her. I cried all the way home. I was pissed. I told my mother. She had a long talk with me. Then called my daddy, because my parents were divorced, unlike Hannah’s in the show. My father boosted my confidence that day and my mother took me out to buy a new outfit. I went to school the next day like that shit never happened. Many of the parents on this show were blind when it came to the type of person their kid was. I think they all needed that speech about “Stop worrying about what others think” ” sharing a picture of a half naked girl is a crime” oh and ” Don’t be a fucking ass hole” I can only hope that one day the child I raise is more a friend than a person that worries about trying to satisfying everyone.
Rape. A lot of the shit Hannah went through was rape in so many forms. The picture being shared, the rumors, the stalker, and even the silence. Yes. Silence is RAPE in my eyes. If you see something and don’t say anything then you are just as responsible FLAT OUT. She said nothing when she listened to her friend get raped which only lead to her later getting raped by the same guy. See how that worked? The fact that the school was being sued over this is what really had me thinking.
How much of this were the schools fought and how much was it the parent’s fault? Hell, How much was it really all these students fault at the school? Overall, it seemed as though she blamed Clay for not going farther with her or not being more of a friend to her. How was she able to keep trying to date the guys that dogged her but never Clay. What was she actually thinking to get involved with all these guys that were all friends? Birds of a feather Flock together. The only one that didn’t fall in line with the rest of the guys was Clay. Enough with the spoilers. My point is who can you really blame for a young girl killing themselves. Who can you blame for a young black couple killing themselves? If the world isn’t going how you want it, then you kill yourself? You get ignored and it is the end of the world? I say no but I’m not 15 and I am not the parent of one.
In conclusion, I would say that we never know what is on a person’s mind that feels like they want to kill themselves. When I was 20 years old I wanted to kill myself because I broke up with a man I was with for three years. I wanted to die. I thought it was the end of the world. I cried for a week straight. I couldn’t function. This is even after he beat my ass and damn near stalked me for a week to see if I was dating someone else. Let me tell you if you ever consider killing yourself. DON’T DO IT. You are more important to other people than you are to one person. It get’s better, better than you can ever imagine. You are your parent’s pride. You matter.
Images: Screen shots from Netflix series 13 reasons Why